Because life is tough enough…

Radio Name Blame

Even NPR’s getting in on the bad baby naming!

Also, calling this “name rage” is my new favorite thing.

North

Kanye and Kim Kardashian had their child last week.  And yes, the child’s name is North.   That baby’s name is North West.  I just … ugh.  As Lainey put it

It’s an ego-driven gimmick to constantly remind everyone whose daughter she is.

She’s completely right.  This is the ultimate in ‘baby as accessory’.  This child is going to have to fight so hard to forge her own identity away from Dad.  Especially as this is her dad.   Fight hard little North.  Willow and Jaden haven’t quite made it yet either, but hopefully they can give you some tips.

We feel for you North

Bingo Mingo

The Fug Girls have hopped on the bad name bandwagon!  Check out what they said about newly NFL drafted Barkevious Mingo.  Also, I cherish him and await the birth of his children with baited breath.

6_mingo-419x599

Accio Bad Names!

While cruising Yahoo Baby Names (like you do), I came across this thread title “Can I kill my friend for naming her baby this?” Yippee, I thought, What sweet naming horrors await me?  I’m shivering with antici—

Hermione Arwen because she loves Harry Potter and Lord of the rings.

What the what? You want to kill your friend over this? That’s not even JV terrible.  That’s freshman team bad naming at best.

However, clearly someone disagrees with me on it’s rating in the suck-o-meter:

Yes, kill her and when she is dead, you need to cut out her brain and destroy it so that no one ever thinks like that again

Also upsetting?

Besides Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are just going to be a thing of the past by the time that child grows up and starts school – so it won’t be “cool” for her to have it.

Yup, you’re right, the third and fourth most read books in the world, ever, are totally just going to be a thing of the past in 7 years.  I bet everyone is going to be so. over. biblical names soon too.

Menfolk

Leona from Nameberry asks:

What would your husband/boyfriend name your children if it was entirely up to him?  LOL. and would you like these names?

Yeah! What would those silly, unartistic, non domesticated men come up with?  Because having testicles totally means that they don’t have good ideas or appreciate having input into their children.  LOL.

Luckily he is very easy to influence and he’s ended up loving my more adventerous name suggestions as well as the more “regular” ones.

Oh menfolk!  Easy to push around!

I think it would be some soft short L-name: Lara, Lia, Linn (all pretty boring and common here)

Always so un-original!

He had  picked out a girl’s name: AmeliaRose … I’m proud of him for coming up with this one, though, because the first time we talked about names he was into Holly and Kenneth (which feel very 60s-70s to me).

Deserving of condescending pats on the back!

For a boy or a girl he likes Murphy. No joke. Or something stupid like Lysol. He thinks he is hilarious. Sadly and obviously he has had his future naming privileges revoked. He really is a wonderful person, he just doesn’t get to help name any kids.

Privileges REVOKED! I cannot be the only person who thinks this is messed up.  You love and trust this person, right?  Value their conversation, morals, and outlook on life?  You hold them to be a partner in your life’s endeavors?  Because I’m pretty sure that’s what marriage/domestic partnership is supposed to be.  Also… it’s their kid too right?

I guess that these women are convinced they’ve married this dude though.  I wouldn’t trust him to name my kid either.

It’s not easy being Green

A poster on Yahoo Answers recently asked:

Which name do you prefer, Sierra or Sienna?

Where the brain goes.

To be honest, both of these are not too terrible.  But it got me thinking, what other color inspired names are people giving to their children?

Here are a few of my favorite options suggested by Babycenter.com:

Auburn, Jett, Rusty, Tan, Cherry, Ivory, Lilac, Pink, Tawny, Cyan, Indigo

It’s a tough world out there when Rusty is one of the more normal options (side note: is “Rusty” even a color?  There’s an old bike near my apartment that is rusting and there a lot of different shades going on there).  It turns out, 93 babies per million were named Indigo in 2011 according to the US Census records, which is small potatoes compared to Jett, with 456 babies per million.  Apparently, Sammy at Behind the Name says:

We named our first born son Indigo. Occasionally we call him Indi for short … We like to think he’ll have less difficulties in the future finding things like usernames and such, which will certainly become a part of life even more so than it is now.

YES, ease of finding a username is a great motivation.  However, Kae Kae on the same thread, counters:

I, too, am surprised at how unpopular the name Indigo is, though I think of it more as a girl’s name. I reminds me of the deep, dark depths of the ocean and dark shadows of fish passing by. Like the color, aquamarine, it makes me think of the alienish peacefulness of the sea.

Dark shadows of fish.  Aliens.  Unless you’re Cylons masquerading as humans and are playing a complex double bluff, I don’t think you want your child’s name associated with aliens.

At least little Lilac, Pink, Green, and Azure will have awesome Halloween costumes eventually.

There’s an App for That

My Australian friend shared this article with me; and clearly, there are some delightfully weird people living down under.

After giving birth to Passion Brinessa Ajayla Quinatee 10 days ago, Mrs Martin thinks she’s done.

Passion is obviously going to have a really awful time being hit on by gross men from age 16 to 24, (and will hilariously embarrass her own adolescent children when the time comes), but I’m more impressed with one of those middle names: Ajayla!  First, when you say it aloud you already sound Australian.  Secondly, that cannot be a name.  It seriously sounds like it belongs in this monologue (starting at 3:00).

I know, I know:

Also amazing?

Three years ago Mrs Martin thought her newborn daughter Diammond Sparckle Zedekeyah Lilly Ann would be her last … She devised the younger girls’ names using verses of poetry, an iPhone name-generating app, and a love of adding letters.

I pray to Nevaeh above that this woman has more children.